I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
