She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
