the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
