my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
