that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
bring money and cleavage
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
