We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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