I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
