Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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