Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
