We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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