Nicole vs. Life
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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