Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Be still, my beating vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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