Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
