maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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