I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
