He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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