I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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