How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
