i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
