in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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