he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
