Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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