i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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