Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
