her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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