just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
