He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
