I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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