Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
birth control should be required to get into college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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