we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
