Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
