I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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