Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
