Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
