Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
