The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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