you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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