I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
