woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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