It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
