Small penises have feelings too.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
