if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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