you guys were way drunker than both of me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
