I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
