my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
