I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
