These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize