Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
