Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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