can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
