She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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