turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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