There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
