He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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