you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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