I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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