he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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