Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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