you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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