if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
