Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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