You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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