Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
